This chapter is about a girl with a special power to twist things and the revenge she must take. Shiki and Mikiya look for the cause of strange killings in town, which lead them to the girl…

Parts 13/13 completed!!

Kara no Kyoukai/Opening

July, 1998.

I safely finish my first job since I got employed at Tohko-san’s office. Well, what I do is more like a secretary thing and all I did was get all the contract approved with the help of a lawyer. I’m discontent for being treated like a beginner, but I know best myself that I deserve it after dropping out of college.

“Mikiya-kun, wasn’t today the day you go to the hospital?”

“Yes. I’ll go after work.”

“You can get out early. There’s nothing to do anyways.”

Tohko-san turns into a really nice person with her glasses on. Today is one of those lucky days and she is cleaning the handle of her lovely vehicle.

“Then I’ll be going. I should be back in about two hours.”

“Bring me back something!”

Leaving Tohko-san behind, I leave the office.

Once a week, on Saturday afternoon, I go to visit her. I go visit Ryohgi Shiki, the girl that is unable to speak since that night. I don’t know what kind of trouble she was going through or what she tried to do. I don’t even know why she tried to kill me. But her smile at the very last moment is enough for me. As Gakuto said, I am insane about Shiki from a long time ago. I can’t go back to being normal after being almost killed just once.

Shiki, who’s sleeping in the hospital room, is the same since that night. I remember that day me and Shiki were talking in the classroom in the sunset. She asked me what part of her I could believe in. I repeat my answer from back then.

… I have no basis, but I will continue to believe in you. I like you, so I want to keep on believing in you…

… What an immature answer. I said I had no basis, but I actually had one. I can declare that with confidence that she would not kill anyone, . Because Shiki knows the pain of murder. As she is the victim and the assaultant… She knows more than anyone how sad murder is.

That’s why I belive in her. Shiki, who does not get hurt. And SHIKI, who only has hurt.

… She was always so fragile, about to get hurt. You could not even let out once your true feelings…

***

There are three prepared pieces

A person with two bodies that floats with reliance on death.
A non-adaptable existence which takes pleasure from being in contact with death.
A person with an awakened origin who turns to its ego by running away to death.
They all intertwine with one another and waits at the spiral of conflict.

Interlude

-Kara no Kyoukai-
OPENING

Part 1/1 Completed

A murder occured in front of my house. My memory of that night after I went to take a walk is vague. But if you connect the parts that I remember, what I must have done is obvious. SHIKI is the same way too, but I do not deal with blood too well. Just looking at it makes my mind go blank. The flowing blood of this victim was really beautiful. The stone road to my mansion, the space between the stones are like a maze and the red liquid going through that maze was filled with beauty I haven’t seen before.

But that caused the misfortune. When I noticed, someone was throwing up behind me and it was Kokutoh Mikiya. I don’t know why he was there and I did not even wonder at that time. But I think… I went back to the mansion after that, but it seems the crime was found out much later than that and nobody knows I was at the scene of the crime. Then was what I saw just a dream? There’s no way that honest classmate would not tell about the killer. But why did it have to be in front of my house?

“SHIKI, is it you?”

I ask aloud but there’s no answer. SHIKI and I are out of line. That feeling grows stronger every day. Even if I let SHIKI use my body, the one to decide is me but why is it that my memory is vague when I do so?

… Maybe, it’s just that I don’t realize it but I might be insane like everyone else of the Ryohgi bloodline. SHIKI would say “If you think you’re abnormal, that’s a fake.” For an abnormal person, everyone else seems abnormal, so they would not question themselves. At least that’s the way I was. Then that must mean I finally figured out the difference between me and the rest of the world after sixteen years. But who caused that?

“Please excuse me, Ojou-sama.”

Akitaka says so after he knocks on the door.

“What is it?”

Akitaka opens the door with my word. It’s almost bedtime, so Akitaka does not enter the room.

“It seems there’s someone checking out the mansion.”

“I heard from father that he got all the policemen out.”

Akitaka nods.

“All the police are off the property since last night. I think it is someone else tonight.”

“Do as you wish. It has nothing to do with me.”

“But it seems the one outside is your friend from your school.”

Being said that, I get up from my bed. I go to the window facing the mansion’s gate and look outside. In the bamboo woods, there is a figure that I wish would hide more cleverly. … It pisses me off.

“I can get him to go home if you wish.”

“You can leave that thing aa it is.”

I quickly make my way to the bed and lay down. Akitaka leaves after telling me goodnight. I cannot sleep even after turning off the lights and closing my eyes. There’s nothing to do so I check outside the window again. Wearing a brown coat, Mikiya is shivering in the cold. It seems he’s looking at the gate. … He might be a great man as he has a pot of coffee by his feet.

I have to reject the idea that seeing Mikiya at that place is only a dream. Since he was actually there, he’s here right now to check on me. I don’t know what his motive is, but I think he’s probably out to check who the killer is. … Anyways, I get mad and bite my nail unknowingly.

Even the day after such a thing happened, Mikiya was acting normal.

“Shiki, do you wanna eat lunch together?”

He would say that and go to the rooftop. I feel like I’m being trained using food as I always accept his offer for lunch. I have decided to ignore him, but I am curious about what he thinks of that night. I followed him up to the rooftop thinking he would question me about it, but Mikiya was like always.

“Isn’t your house too big? I can brag about seeing a servant just by going to see you.”

There’s no right for Mikaya to say that, with him using the word servant.

“Akitaka is my father’s secretary. And we call them caretakers, not servants, Kokutoh-kun.”

“I see, so you do have people like that at your place.”

… That’s the only time my house came up in the conversation. With his personality, I don’t think he knows that we know he’s out there checking on the mansion, but still, he is acting too strangely. He must have seen me covered in blood that night, so why can he still laugh like it never happened? So I bring the topic up myself.

“Kokutoh-kun, on the night of February third…”

“Don’t talk about that.”

He avoids my question just like that.

“What is it, Kokuto.”

… I can’t believe it, I’m talking like SHIKI without noticing. Mikiya is a bit startled by being called Kokuto while I am obviously still Shiki.

“Tell me, why didn’t you tell the police about me?”

“… Because I didn’t see anything.”

That’s a lie. There’s no way. Because at that time, SHIKI went towards him and…

“You just happened to be there, right? At least, that’s the only thing I saw so I decided to believe in you.”

That’s a lie. Then why would he check on the mansion?

… SHIKI went towards him and…

“Well, to be honest, it’s a bit hard on me so I’m working hard on it right now. If I can have confidence in myself, I should be able to hear you out. So let’s not talk about that for now.”

I feel like running away looking at his expression.

… SHIKI definitely tried to kill Kokutoh Mikiya…

I did not want such a thing. Mikiya said he would believe me. If I could also believe in myself, I wouldn’t feel this unknown pain either…

From that day on, I decide to ignore Mikiya completely. About two days into it, he stopped talking to me either but he did not stop coming to the mansion to check on me. Under the cold winter sky, he would stay in the bamboo woods until about three in the morning. Thanks to that, I cannot take my nightly walks. It’s been about two weeks since it started. I look outside the window wondering if he really wants to figure out the killer that bad. … He is really persistant. It’s almost three in the morning, but he just keeps staring at the gate. There’s nothing too desperate about his expression. No, he rather smiled when he left.

“……”

I get irritated. I finally understand. He isn’t out to find the killer. For him, it’s only natural to trust me, and that’s why he doesn’t suspect me. He’s there knowing from the beinning that I would not go out during the night. He’s only there to prove my innocence. That’s why he smiles happily when the night ends without anything happenning. Believing that the true killer is really innocent.

“… What a happy guy.”

Murmuring, I think. Being with Mikiya calms me down. Being with Mikiya makes me think I’m like him. Being with Mikiya makes me think I could go over to their side. But definitely, that bright side of the world is a world I should never be in. A world I cannot be in, a world without a place for me… He drags me in with his smile…

That’s why I am irritated by Mikiya, making me think all that. I have inside me a killer called SHIKI. That boy that lets me know that I am abnormal…

“I am fine by myself. But you’re getting in my way, Kokuto.”

Shiki does not want to go crazy. SHIKI does not want to be broken. Everything would have been fine if I never had the dream of living normally.

March comes and the coldness starts to go away. I look outside from my classroom. The overlooking view from here makes a person like me feel safe. A view that I cannot reach does not let me hope by definition. Mikiya comes as usual into the red-tinted classroom. SHIKI liked to talk like this. … and I also did not dislike it.

“I never thought you’d invite me. Are you going to stop ignoring me?”

“I wanted to talk because it’s impossible to continue that.”

Mikiya makes a frowned face. I continue while feeling that I am mixing in with SHIKI.

“You said I am not the killer.”

The sunset is so red that I cannot see his face.

“I’m sorry. I am a killer. Why do you let me go even after seeing that scene?”

Mikiya looks dumb-struck.

“There’s nothing to let go, because you never did such a thing.”

“Even if I say I did myself?”

Mikiya nods.

“You’re the one to tell me not to listen to you too seriously. And you definitely can’t do such a thing… ever.”

I get mad at Mikiya for saying that while he does not know anything.

“What do you mean definitely? What about me can you understand? What about me can you trust?”

My anger comes out my mouth. Mikiya makes a troubled face but smiles.

“I have no basis, but I will continue to believe in you. I like you, so I want to keep on believing in you.”

That did it. A pure power… pure words erase everything else just because it is pure. A normal word like that for him is happiness for Shiki and destruction that she could never get away from. I was just shown the world I could never be in through this happy person.

… A world where you could live with someone else must be a happy world.
… But I do not know such world.
… But I probably do not know such world.

If I get to know someone, SHIKI will kill that person because SHIKI’s reason for existence is to deny. And since my reason is to affirm, I cannot exist without denial. Since I have never been attracted to anything, I was able to stay away from this contradiction. Now that I know, the more I wish for it, the more I know this wish is hopeless. That fact really hurts and I detest it. For the first time, I deteste Mikiya from the bottom of my heart.

… Mikiya laughs like it’s nothing.
Even though I can never be there.

I cannot stand his existence. I know for sure now. Mikiya will bring me destruction…

“… You’re stupid.”

I tell him from the bottom of my heart.

“Yeah, I get told that a lot.”

The sunset is red and I exit the classroom. As I leave, I ask him without turning.

“Are you going to come again tonight?”

“Huh……?”

He sounds surprized. I guess he didn’t know I noticed his “stake-out”. Mikiya tries to lie it off but I stop him.

“Answer me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’ll go if I feel like it.”

I leave the classroom. There are gray clouds in the red sky. From the dark clouds, I think it should rain tonight.

That night. The dark clouds starts to shower rain down onto the ground. Raindrops make the night into a noisy one. Even though it’s March, the rain is still cold. Kokutoh Mikiya stares at the Ryohgi mansion, wet in the rain with the bamboo leaves. The hand holding the umbrella is turning red. Mikiya lets out a big sigh. Even Mikiya doesn’t plan on continuing this stalker-like thing. It would be great if the killer would be caught while he does this, but Mikiya has decided to quit if nothing happens for another week.

… Standing in the rain sure is tiring. The coldness and the rain hits hard as Mikiya is just getting used to all this.

“…. Sigh”

The sigh is not because of the rain but rather from how Shiki acted today. What was Mikiya able to get across to her when she thinks he didn’t trust her? At that time, Shiki seemed really fragile, so much that Mikiya thought she was crying.

The rain does not stop. The black puddles on the ground endlessly create ripples.

A big splash occurs. When Mikiya looks in the direction of the sound, a red figure is standing there. A girl in red is wet with rain. Not even holding an umbrella, the girl is drenched as if she has just came out from the ocean. The black hair is sticking to her forhead and her eyes look empty.

“… Shiki”

Mikiya quickly runs to her. How long has this girl been out in the rain? The red kimono is sticking to her body and her body is cold as ice. Mikiya hands her the umbrella and takes out a towel from his bag.

“Here, wipe yourself with this. What are you doing? Your house is right there.”

Mikiya reaches out his hand. She laughs at his defencelessness.

“…… Huh?”

It happens even before he could notice. The hand that reached out feels something hot and Mikiya instantly jumps back. Something warm flows down his arm.

Cut?

On the arm?

Why?

It doesn’t move?

The pain is so sharp, it cannot be thought of as normal pain. It hurts so much that the senses starts to go numb. There’s no time for Mikiya to think. The girl in red he thought of as Shiki moves. Maybe it’s because Mikiya has seen something terrible here already, but his head was not panicking yet. Jumping back calmly, he runs off.

……. No, there was no way he could get away.

The instant Mikiya jumps back, she runs towards him. Her speed is beast-like. Mikiya hears a slicing sound from around his feet. Red liquid mixes in with the rain. Noticing that it is his own blood, Mikiya fall onto the ground face-up.

“Agh…”

He moans hitting his back on the ground. The girl in red gets on top of Mikiya. There’s determination in her eyes. The girl places her knife on Mikiya’s throat. Mikiya just looks up at the whole thing happening to him. What’s there is darkness… and her. There’s no emotion in those black eyes. She is serious. The top of the knife touches Mikiya’s throat. Maybe because the rain is coming down on her, but the girl looks like she’s crying. But there’s no expression. The mask-like crying face is scary, and at the same time, pitiful.

“Kokuto, say something.”

Shiki says so. Shiki is saying that she’ll listen to his last words. Mikiya tells Shiki looking directly in her eye while trembling.

“I… don’t want to… die…”

It’s doesn’t seem like the word is directed at Shiki. Mikiya said so to the impeding death coming onto him, not to Shiki.

Shiki smiles.

“I want to kill you.”

It was a really kind smile.

/5

I end up not going to school the next day. It’s because I was found by a policeman while I stood at the scene of the crime absent-mindedly, and was taken into questioning.

I heard I could not say anything for a few hours. It took me about four hours before my mind returned… I guess my brain doesn’t have that good of a recovery system. Anyways, after I was questioned and released, it was too late to go to school.

By how the man was killed, it’s impossible to not have blood on your cloth. Fortunately, I did not have any blood on me and being the relative of Daisuke Nii-san, I think my questioning went rather smoothly. Daisuke Nii-san offered me a ride home so I take it.

“So you didn’t see anyone, Mikiya?”

“You’re being too persistant. I said I didn’t see anyone.”

I glare at Daisuke Nii-san and sit deep in my seat.

“I see. Damn! It would have helped if you’ve seen the killer… but I guess the killer wouldn’t have let you go alive if you saw him. I can’t let you die, so I guess it’s a good thing for me you didn’t see anyone.”

“You’re not a good policeman, Daisuke-san.”

I hate myself for being able to respond to him in a normal tone. I call myself a liar in my head. … I can’t believe myself that I can lie with such a straight face. And this is police matters we’re talking about here. If I don’t tell the truth, things can only get worse. … But still, I did not say anything about Shiki being at the scene of the crime.

“Well, I’m glad you’re not hurt. So, what’s your impression on the first dead body you saw?”

This mean person asks me such a question in this situation.

“Terrible. I don’t ever want to see it again.”

“This one is special. It’s not as bad normally so be rest assured.”

What does he want me to be assured on?

“But it’s a small world we live in. I didn’t know you knew the daughter of the Ryohgi family.”

The fact that might make him happy gets me more depressed. … The murder that happened in front of Ryohgi’s house is treated as the same killer’s work but the investigation stopped from there. Even the police left the territory of the Ryohgis after their inspection. From what he says, it’s because of the pressure from the Ryohgis. It was recorded that this murder happened in between eleven and twelve at night on February third (Sunday), and the only witness is Kokutoh Mikiya. But it’s recorded that I was there only after the crime has occured and that I was in a state of shock seeing the scene of the crime. The Ryohgi family and I have not said anything about Shiki.

“But didn’t you investigate the people of the Ryohgi?”

Daisuke-san shakes his head to my question.

“The daughter of that place goes to your high school, so I wanted to ask them about it but they refused. They said they didn’t care about what happened outside their house. But from the way I see it, they are innocent, they have nothing to do with the crime.”

“Huh?”

I let it out without thinking. I trust Daisuke Nii-san even if it seems like I don’t. It’s even famous in the workplace that this person is not fired because of his superior skill. So that’s why I thought he might suspect Shiki.

“Why do you think so?”

“Hmm, well… do you think such a beautiful girl would kill someone? You don’t, right? I don’t think so too. This is an obvious answer for as a guy.”

… Why did he ever decide to be a policeman? No, more than that, I sigh at how much more carefree he is than me.

“I see. You’ll be single for the rest of your life.”

“Hey now, I can put you in jail.”

I’ll be released because of lack of proof. … But I agree with his opinion. Even though I don’t have the hunch like he does, it is my opinion that Shiki is not the killer. Even if she admits it herself, I believe she is not the one. So now, there is something I must do.

***

The crime neared it’s solution.

Then from that day until that day three years later, the killer would cease to appear. For me at that time, that incident seemed like it did not concern me. But that happened to be the first and the last incident which involved both Shiki and me.

/4

It’s the first Sunday in February. Waking up and going to the dining room, Daisuke Nii-san is there, about to leave.

“Oh, you were here?”

“Yo. I just came to sleep cause I missed the last train, but I’m gotta go to work now. I envy you students, your promise for vacation is always kept.”

He looks like he hasn’t had enough sleep. I bet he’s busy with all the new information on that serial killer.

“You were talking about coming to my school, but what happened to that?”

“It seems we’ll have to go there again. To tell you the truth, there was a sixth victim three days ago. I guess this victim struggled hard and we found the killer’s skin in her nails. Women have long nails so I guess she scratched the killer’s arm pretty bad. Maybe it was a desperate move but the scratch has to be deep. The skin we found was about 3 centimeters. (about 1 inch).”

His information is a new one not even on TV or the newspaper. But I am shocked for a different reason. … I think it’s because in the past few days, Shiki has been using the omnious word of “killing” quite a number of times. Why else would I imagine for an instant that Shiki would be this killer?

“… Scratch, you mean the killer has a wound?”

“Of course. Do you think the victim would scratch her own arm? We already figured out the skin is from around the elbow area. We have the blood diagnozed so the killer is done for now.”

Daisuke Nii-san leaves. With power escaping my legs, I crumble onto the chair. Three days ago was the day I had that conversation with SHIKI in the setting sun. I think when I saw her the next day, the bandage was around her elbow…

***

Right around mid-day, I figure out it’s no good just sitting here and thinking. Instead of thinking, I can just go to Shiki and ask her. If she tells me her wound is nothing related to it, this uneasiness would go away.

I decide to visit Shiki’s house using the school’s contact guide. Her house is on the outskirt of town a station away from here. When I finally find her house, the sun is already setting. The mansion with bamboo trees surrounding it is oriental-styled. I cannot tell the size of this place just by walking. I won’t be able to tell exactly how big it is unless I get in a plane and get an overhead view of this place. Walking through the bamboo woods on a path, I get to a big gate. I’m a bit relieved this old looking place has an intercom. Pushing it and saying what I came here for, a man in a black suit appears. I find out that this man around his thirties is Shiki’s servant. This person called Akitaka talks with a stranger like me with manners. Unfortunately, Shiki isn’t home. He offers me to stay and wait but I refuse. To be honest, I don’t have the guts to go into this place alone.

I decide to go home since the sun has already set. Getting to the station after an hour’s walk, I run into Senpai by chance. Being invited by him, we eat at a nearby restaurant and end up talking until ten. Unlike Senpai, I am a student so I have to start heading home soon. After saying goodbye to Senpai, I buy the ticket for the train at the station. The time is almost eleven o’clock. I wonder for a second if Shiki is home already.

***

“What the hell am I doing?”

I say so to myself as I walk through the nighttime residential district. It’s late at night without a sign of life. In this unfamiliar town, I don’t understand why I’m going toward Shiki’s house. Even though I know I won’t be able to see her, I at least want to see the lights in her house. I walk in the chilly winter air. I exit the residentual district and end up facing a group of trees. I walk through the small road in the middle of it. Since there’s no wind, the bamboos are silent. There’s no streetlight, so the moonlight is my only guide. When I half-jokingly think what would happen if I got attacked here, the thought starts to fill me. The image gets stronger in my head in contrast to my mind wanting to get rid of it. When I was a kid, I was scared of ghosts. The shadows in between the bamboo looked like ghosts and I would be frightened. But now, I’m scared of other people. I’m only scared of the fact that someone might be hiding in the bushes. …Since when did the unknown ghosts turn into other humans?

The more I try to calm down, the more the bad feeling seeps into me. …Really, this bad feeling does not go away. Oh yeah, I think Shiki was saying the same thing before. I think that was… While I try to recall, I see something ahead of me.

“……”

I stop dead in my tracks. It’s not my will, because at this time… my mind has just became empty.

A white figure stands few meters ahead. The white kimono that looks bright is covered with red spots. The red spots on the kimono expands. It’s because the thing in front of her is spilling red liquid everywhere. The one in the white kimono is Shiki and the thing is not a fountain, but a dead person.

“………”

I cannot say anything. But I always thought about this somewhere in my mind. This image of Shiki standing in front of a dead body. That’s why I’m not surprized or making a commotion. My mind is just completely blank. The body must have recently died… the blood would not flow out that much unless you cut its artery alive. The wound is on the neck and a cut in the body at an angle. Shiki is silently staring at the dead body. The color of the spilled blood is enough to make you faint, but its organs are spilling out from the cut and making the body look like a totally different thing. To me, it seems like something slimy is trying to have a human form, but it’s doing such a bad job that it’s hard to look at it. … If you are a normal human being, there’s no way you can. But Shiki is staring at the dead body. Blood gets on her ghost-like kimono. The spots look like red butterflies. The butterflies are flying toward Shiki’s face too. The face covered with blood is deformed. Is it because of fear or pleasure? Is she Shiki… or SHIKI?

“………..”

I try to say something and I collapse onto the ground. I vomit. I vomit out everything in my stomach, stomach acid, and if I could this memory too… I vomit until I start to cry. But it’s no good. It doesn’t even make me feel better. The amount of blood is so much that the smell is overwhelming enough to seep into my brains.

Eventually, Shiki notices me. Her head turns to look at me. The expressionless face shows a smile. It’s so pure it makes me rather clam. The smile reminds me of a mother. That smile is so unfitting to this whole scene that…

I start to faint as she draws closer. I remember Shiki’s words at the last moment.

… “Be careful Kokutoh-kun. A bad presentiment tends to attract bad reality.”

… I guess I was stupid indeed. Because I tried not to think about this bad reality until the moment I see it in person…

/3

The winter vacation ended in a flash. The only thing that happened was I went to the shrine on new year with Shiki. But I think I led a normal life other than that.

When the third term started, Shiki isolated herself even more. She had that rejection air around her that even I noticed.

After making sure everyone else has left and going to the classroom, SHIKI would always be there. She doesn’t do anything but just stares out the window. I haven’t been invited or called to come here. But I just can’t leave this fragile girl alone, so I keep her company meaninglessly.

The sun sets early in the wintertime and the classroom is tinted red. In this classroom filled with just the color red and black, SHIKI is leaning against the window.

“Did I tell you that I hate people?”

Today, SHIKI starts to talk mindlessly.

“That’s the first time I heard that… do you mean that?”

“Yeah, Shiki hates people. She was like that from when she was small. … You see, when you’re a child, you don’t know anything. You think the whole world would love you unconditionally. Since you like them, they must like you… that feels like common sense.”

“You’re right. You never doubt anything when you’re small. You unconditionally love them and you think it’s only natural for them to love you back. The only thing I was scared of were ghosts. Even though I’m scared of people now.”

SHIKI nods in agreement.

“But that’s a very important thing. You need to be pure, Kokuto. Since you only concern about yourself when you’re small, you won’t notice other people’s bad minds. Even if it’s just a misunderstanding, the feeling of love you receive makes you be able to be kind to others. Since people can only express the emotions they have.”

The sunset illuminates her face red. At this moment, I cannot tell if she is SHIKI or Shiki, but it has no meaning at all which she is. Either way, this is just Shiki’s monologue.

“But I’m different. I knew someone else since I was born. Since Shiki has SHIKI inside of her, she knew of others. She found out that there’s other people who think differently and that they do not love you unconditionally. Since she found out as a child how ugly other people are, she could not love them. In time. she grew to pay them no attention. The only emotion Shiki has is rejection.”

… That’s why she hates people. SHIKI says so with her eyes. … I feel like crying without reason.

“But wasn’t she lonely like that?”

“Why? Shiki has me. It’s certainly lonely by yourself but Shiki isn’t alone. She was isolated, but she wasn’t alone.”

SHIKI says so with a resolute face. There’s no bluff in it and it seems she really is satisfied with that.

But really…?

Yet really…?

“But Shiki is acting weird recently. She has an abonormality in her called me, but she wants to deny me. Denying is my domain, and Shiki is supposed to be only able to affirm.”

SHIKI laughs asking why that might be. It’s a brutal looking smile.

“Kokuto, have you ever wanted to kill someone?”

At that instance, the sun makes her face look red and made my heart jump.

“Not so far. The most I’ve ever wanted was wanting to punch someone.”

“I see. But I only have that feeling.”

Her voice echoes through the classroom.

“…… Huh?”

“I told you. Humans can only show emotions that they have experienced. I take on the forbidden taboos inside Shiki. What’s low on Shiki’s priorities is high on mine. I am content with that and I know that’s why I exist. I am the personality that takes on Shiki’s supressed intentions. That’s why I’ve always killed my will. I have been killing the dark side called SHIKI. I have killed myself over and over. See? The only thing I’ve experienced is killing things.”

Then, she walks away from the window. Why, why do I think the person walking toward me silently is scary?

“So Kokuto, the definiton of murder for Shiki is…”

A voice murmuring by my ear…

“… Is to eliminate, in self defense anything that tries to open her up.”

Smiling, SHIKI leaves the classroom. It was an innocent smile that one would give after playing a trick on you…

On lunch break the next day…

When I asked Shiki if she wanted to have lunch with me, she looked really surprized. At this time, she showed me her surprized expression for the first time since I have met her.

“What a thing…”

Saying that, Shiki accepts my request. We head to the rooftop following Shiki’s request. She is following silently behind me. Her silent stare is stabbing into my back. Maybe she’s mad at me… no, she definitely is. … Even I know what she meant by those words yesterday. It’s her last warning telling me not to be involved with her, and that she doesn’t know what she’ll do if I did. But Shiki does not understand. That’s something Shiki has always told me without words unconsciously, and I have already gotten used to it. When we get to the rooftop, no one is there. I guess being January and all, nobody else wanted to eat in this cold weather.

“It’s cold, do you want to eat somewhere else?”

“No, I want to eat here. If you want to go somewhere else, please go ahead.”

I tilt my head to Shiki’s polite tone. We sit by the wall to avoid the wind. Shiki just sits there without opening her bread. In contrast, I have already finished my second sandwich.

“Why did you talk to me?”

Shiki’s murmur is so sudden that I could not catch her words.

“Did you say something, Shiki?”

“I said, why are you so carefree?”

She says so with glaring eyes.

“That’s terrible. I’ve been called excessively honest, but I’ve never been called carefree.”

“I guess everyone was holding back.”

Convinced selfishly, Shiki opens her egg sandwich. The sound of the wrapper suited the cold rooftop. Shiki sits there silently and nibbles on her sandwich. I have nothing to do as I’m already done. I think a meal needs to be accompanied by a conversation.

“Shiki, you must be a bit mad.”

“… A bit?”

She glares at me. I scold myself in my mind for not thinking before I said something.

“I don’t understand but I get irritated when you’re there. Why you involve yourself with me, why you don’t act differently after being said all that yesterday, there’s all those things I don’t understand.”

“I don’t know the reason either. It’s fun being with you but if you ask me why it’s fun, I can’t answer. Well, if you talk about yesterday, I guess you can say I’m optimistic.”

“Kokutoh-kun, do you understand that I’m abnormal?”

I can only nod to those words. Her split personality is real and it is indeed not normal.

“Yeah, it’s indeed not normal.”

“Right. So then you should understand that I am not someone you could associate with normally.”

“Abnormal or not, it doesn’t matter when hanging out.”

Shiki stops all movement. She stops time as if she’s even forgotten how to breathe.

“But I cannot be like you.”

Saying that, Shiki slides her fingers through her hair. Her kimono sways and I notice the bandage wrapped around her thin arm. The bandage wrapped around near her right elbow is quite new.

“Shiki, that wound…”

Before I get a chance to finish, Shiki stands up.

“If you don’t understand with SHIKI’s words, I’ll tell you myself.”

Shiki talks while looking off into the distance.

“If we keep this up, I will probably end up killing you.”

… How could I have replied to those words?

After that, Shiki goes to the classroom leaving her trash behind. Being left alone, I first clean up the mess.

“… Geez, this is just like Gakuto said.”

I remember the conversation I had with Gakuto. Like Gakuto said, I might be stupid. I could not hate Shiki even after she completely rejected me. No, my mind has rather cleared up. There can only be one reason why it’s fun being with Shiki.

“I already went mad a long time ago.”

… Yeah, why didn’t I notice this earlier?

… That I love Shiki so much that I can even laugh off her telling me she wants to kill me.

/2

I saw an unbelievable thing on the day the exam ended for the second quarter.

There was a letter in my desk. No, that itself isn’t too weird. The problem is the sender and its content. To put it simply, it was from Shiki, asking me out on a date.

It sounded like a threat telling me to take her out somewhere tomorrow. I went home all confused and waited for the next day to come, feeling like a samurai told to kill himself the next day.

“Yo, Kokuto.”

That was the first word Shiki said to me when she came. She came to our meeting place, the dog statue in front of the station, with a red leather jacker over her kimono. More than her outfit, I was confused by how she spoke.

“Did ya wait? Sorry man. It took me awhile to shake off Akitaka.”

She says so as if it’s natural for her to say so.

She sounds like a guy, not like the Shiki I know. Not being able to answer, I check her figure again. There’s nothing different in her looks. She has a small body, but because of her valient gestures, she looks powerful… no, rather graceful. She has the unbalanceness of a lively puppet, a puppet made so well just on the outside.

“What? You angry just cause I’m an hour late? You’re pretty intolerant, man.”

Shiki looks at me with her black eyes. Her beautiful short black hair. A small face and big eyes, they both are beautiful. The black eyes are reflecting the figure of Kokutoh Mikiya, but it seems to be seeing something farther away. … Come to think of it, I was attracted to these eyes since that snowy day when we met

“Um… you’re Shiki, right?”

“Yeah”, Shiki laughs. A strange smile that’s more like a grin.

“What else do I look like? We’re wasting time like this. Come on, take me somewhere. I’ll let you decide, Kokuto.”

Saying that, Shiki starts to walk taking my arm forcefully.

… She said she’ll let me decide, but since I was confused, I didn’t even notice that she was leading the way…

We walked a lot.

Shiki didn’t do much shopping, but she would go into a store in the department store and look around, and goes to the next one when she gets bored. My request to take a rest at the cafe or a movie theater was denied. … But she’s right. It would have been boring to go to such places with the way Shiki is acting right now.

Shiki talked a lot. If I’m not mistaken, she seemed excited. How should I say this… she’s mentally high?

Most of the stores she went to were cloth-oriented, but I was relieved every one of them were store for women. Shiki must have gotten tired from looking through four department stores in four hours, as she says she wants to eat.

We wander around and end up in a fast food joint. Shiki takes off her jacket once she takes a seat. She catches peoples attention with that kimono outfit but it seems she doesn’t care at all. Making up my mind, I ask her about what I’ve been wondering all this time.

“Shiki, you actually talk like that all the time?”

“In my case. But there’s no meaning in how someone talks. Even you can change that.”

Shiki eats the hamburger like it doesn’t taste good.

“Well, this kind of thing never happened before. Today’s the first that I came outside. I didn’t say anything until now cause I had the same opinion as Shiki.”

… I don’t get it at all.

“Let’s see… It’s a split personality to put it simply. I’m SHIKI and the normal one is Shiki. SHIKI is from the word weaved cloth. But Shiki and I are not different people. The only difference between us is the prioriteis of things. The ranks of what we like are different.”

Saying that, she writes on her napkin using her wet fingers. The white finger writes the word Shiki and SHIKI.

“I wanted to talk with Kokuto, that’s all. Since it’s not something Shiki wanted to do, I’m doing it in her place. Do ya understand?”

“Well, kind of.”

I answer uneasily. But I actually have felt what SHIKI is talking about. I think something similar to that happened to me before. Before I entered high school, I have met Shiki, but she said she didn’t remember about it. At that time I thought she said that because she hated me, but if that’s the case, it makes sense.

No, more than that. Being with her all today, she isn’t anyone else but Shiki. As Shiki, no, as SHIKI says, she only talks differently, but her actions are the same. They are so similar I’m starting to feel there’s nothing different about her now.

“But why did you tell me about that?”

“I thought I wouldn’t be able to hide it from ya much longer.”

Shiki takes another drink. She puts her mouth on the straw and lets go quickly… Shiki doesn’t like cold things.

“To be honest, I’m like Shiki’s subversive impulse. Something that she wants to do the most. But up to now, there was no one I wanted to do so to. It’s because Ryohgi Shiki had no interest in anyone.”

SHIKI says so like she’s not interested. I could not move, being stared at by those deep black eyes.

“Yeah, but you can be rest assured. I’m still Shiki. I’m just saying what Shiki thinks. Like I told ya, we just talk differently. … Well, but we’re beginning to get out of line, so don’t take me too seriously.”

“Out of line? … You mean you and Shiki get in a fight?”

“Hey, how can you get in a fight with yourself? No matter what I do, it has to be something we both wanted, so we both have no complaints. No matter how much I fight, Shiki has control over this body. I’m seeing you like this because Shiki thought it was all right too. … Well, she’ll probably regret saying things like this. It’s not something Shiki would say, right?”

I agree.

SHIKI laughs.

“I like those kind of things about you. But Shiki doesn’t. That’s what I mean by being out of line.”

…? What does that mean? Does Shiki not like the fact that I don’t think too much? Or does Shiki not like the fact that she’s liking that part of me? I don’t know why, but I somehow thought it had to be the latter.

“That’s all of the explanation. That’s it for today.”

Standing up suddenly, SHIKI puts on the leather jacket.

“Seeya. I like you, so I’ll see you again pretty soon.”

Putting the money for the hamburger on the table, SHIKI leaves quickly.

Parting with SHIKI and coming back to my town, the sun is setting already. Because of all the murder incidents going on recently, not many people are out even though the sun’s only setting.

When I get home, my cousin, Daisuke Nii-san is there. I was tired from all that talk with SHIKI, so I go to the kotatsu and put my legs in it. Daisuke Nii-san also has his legs in there so we end up fighting for the small space inside without a word. In the end, I couldn’t lay down, so I just had to get up.

“Aren’t you busy, Daisuke-san?”

I ask him while taking a manderine off the table. Daisuke Nii-san asnwers “Yeah”.

“It’s five people in three months, of course we’re busy. I’m too busy I can’t even go home to sleep. I have to get going in about an hour again.”

Daisuke Nii-san is a police officer. I don’t know why this lazy person has such an unsuited job.

“How’s the investigation going?”

“It’s all right. There weren’t any clues until now but the killer finally left us something. Well, it does seem intentional though.”

Saying that, Daisuke Nii-san lifts up his face. His serious face is right in front of mine.

“What I’m telling you is confidential. I’m going to tell you because this isn’t something that’s irrelevant to you. I told you about the first victim, right?”

Then, Daisuke Nii-san starts to describe the second and the third murder scene. … I listen closely while hoping not all policemen in this world lets out confidential matters this easily.

The second victim had its body cut vertically. From its head down to its groin. The weapon used is unknown. One of the cut halves was stuck to the wall.

The third victim had its arms and legs cut off, and the arms were sewen onto the legs.

The fourth victim had its body cut into pieces and had some word-like symbol stamped on it.

The fifth victim looked like a manji using its arms and legs.

“It’s easy to understand that the killer is abnormal.”

Saying so while trying to hold back my vomit, Daisuke Nii-san agrees.

“I think it’s a bit intentional though when it’s too easy to understand, but what do you think?”

“… Let’s see. I don’t think it matters every one of them is killed by being cut apart. I can’t say anything else, but…”

“But?”

“I just thought the killer is getting used to this. The next one might not be outside.”

“You’re right.” Daisuke Nii-san covers his face with his hands.

“There’s no motive and there’s no rules. It’s only happening outside right now but this is a kind of a guy that would even come indoors. If this killer can’t find anyone out at night, there’s more motive for the killer to go into someone’s house. I just wish the higher ranked guys would take that into consideration and be prepared for it.”

“Well…” Daisuke Nii-san changes the subject.

“We found this by the fifth victim.”

Daisuke Nii-san places our school badge on the table. It’s considered unimportant with us not having uniforms and all, but we are required to wear this somewhere on us when going to school.

“I don’t know if the killer didn’t notice this because the scene of the crime was a grassy field or if the killer intentionally put this there. But either way, there has to be a meaning behind this. I might go over to your place sometime soon.”

Making a cop-like face, he says an ominous thing.

Murder Study/

1

“Mikiya, is it true that you’re going out with Ryohgi?”

I almost spew out my coffee milk to Gakuto’s words. I look around while coughing. Fortunately, the lunchtime classroom is loud and no one seems to have heard Gakuto’s nonsense.

“What do you mean by that, Gakuto?”

Gakuto looks rather amazed when I question him.

“What are you saying? It’s a known fact for everyone that Kokutoh of class 1-C has a crush on Ryohgi. The only ones who doesn’t know are you two.”

I think I frowned to those words.

It’s been seven months since I first met Shiki. It’s already November, right near winter.

… Certainly it’s not weird for anyone to start going out after that much time.

“Gakuto, that’s just a misunderstanding. We’re just friends, and nothing more.”

“Really?”

The hopeful of the judo club frowns his face. In contrast to his name, which means “educated person”, this friend of mine since elementary school is the athletic type. From our long relationship, he must have figured out I wasn’t lying.

“But you call her by her first name. There’s no way that Ryohgi would allow just a classmate to call her like that.”

“Hey now. Shiki doesn’t like that. She glared at me when I called her Ryohgi-san before. People say you can kill someone by looking at them, but Shiki has that potential. Anyways, she says she hates people calling her by her last name, so she says it’s fine if I just call her “you”. But since I didn’t like that, I compromised with “Shiki-san”. She didn’t like that either, so it ended up with just Shiki. How is this boring truth.”

Telling Gakuto about what happened in April, he agrees that it indeed was a boring development.

“I see. That sure is an unromantic story.”

Gakuto says so disappointedly. …What kind of an answer was he hoping for?

“So that thing last week at the school entrance was nothing either? Damn, it was a waste of time coming here. I should’ve stayed in my classroom and ate lunch.”

“… Hold on. How do you know about that?”

“I told you that you guys are famous. Everyone at the school already knows you and Ryohgi were getting shelter from the rain together by the entrance last Saturday. Since its Ryohgi, even small things like that catches everyone’s attention.”

I sigh and look up. All I can hope for now is that Shiki will never hear about this.

“This is a school to get you ready for college right? I’m starting to wonder if everyone’s really studying.”

“According to the teachers, employment rate is good for students who graduated from here.”

… I have to question at how this school is run.

“But man, why Ryohgi? It just doesn’t fit you.”

I remember being said something like that by my Senpais.

They told me a quiet, gentle girl would suit me. I guess Gakuto is on the same line too.

… I get a bit angry.

“Shiki isn’t such a scary girl.”

I let it slip out my mouth..

Gakuto grins. …He looks like he knows I didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“What do you mean she’s just your friend? That’s definitely a hard girl. The fact that you don’t see it is proof that you’re too crazy about that girl.”

He must mean hard-headed when he says hard. I know he’s right, but I didn’t want to just give in and nod.

“I already know that.”

“Then what’s so good about her? Her looks?”

Gakuto is holding nothing back.

Indeed Shiki is beautiful. But with that aside, Shiki attracts me. Shiki always seems like she’s about to get hurt. In reality, she’s firm enough not to get hurt, but she seems to be really fragile. That’s probably why I can’t ignore her. I don’t want to see her get hurt.

“It’s just that you don’t notice. Even Shiki has her cute points. …Let’s see, if I suppose her as an animal, she’s cute enough to be a rabbit.”

Saying that… I regret I did.

“Don’t be stupid. She’s definitely in the cat family, and probably the beast ones too. A rabbit is too far off, just too far. Is Ryohgi the one that would die out of lonliness?”

Gakuto laughs his ass off.

But I think she’s like a rabbit in that she doesn’t become attached to people and how she looks at others from a distance. … Huh, if that’s just me, then fine.

“All right. I won’t talk to you about girls anymore.”

Gakuto quits laughing once I tell him that.

“You might be right. A rabbit suits her well.”

“Gakuto, a frank agreement is rather offensive.”

“I mean it. I remembered that rabbits were dangerous too. In this world, there are rabbits that chop off your head if you’re unlucky.”

I hesitate being said that in a serious tone.

“That’s a pretty amazing rabbit.”

Gakuto nods.

“Of course, cause I’m talking about the world of gaming.”