I'm excited. ^_^

Although, I've been playing through the Tsukihime patch, and there are a lot of odd uses of english, at least I thought. (Sorry for criticizing such an awesome piece of work!) The phrase "You should work it out if I make that 'Ilyasviel Von Einsbern'" is kind of a weird phrase..

Also, I think the second sentence sounds a bit more fluid if it said "as if she recognized the name." Sorry for being nitpicky..

You have to also consider that it may just be the style of speech for that particular character. It would be unfaithful to the original work to translate a line and then re-word it just because it is more fluid. Also the Japanese language is structured differently than English is. A phrase like "You should work it out if I make that 'Ilyasviel Von Einsbern" which may sound weird in English is a perfectly normal sounding phrase in Japanese.

Hmm... It sounded fine to me, but I'm no English native.
It is true that Nasu (writer of Fate) is really fancy writer, so the English might have got a bit screwy during the translation. --;
The hard part is that people have no idea if the English is just a crappy translation or if that's what it meant in the original Japanese.
But the problem with "this sounds better" stuff is that a lot of it is dependant on people tastes. But I'll make sure to note to watch for unfluid sentences in the beta testing.
I just hope small strangeness in the sentences will be overlooked when it's part of a gigantic text. ^^
I think I'm rambling, so I'll end it here.

Mm... "You should figure it out if I say 'Ilyasviel von Einzbern' instead." wouldn't sound so bad... although I must agree with any effort to preserve the original text. I'd always rather err on the side of the original than a rewording.

The only nitpick I might have on the second line is the comma. I'm not sure if it belongs, but only because I don't know the original text. I don't know if the "as" is used kind of like "because"... which would have the meaning of Rin's body moves *because* she recognizes the name..... or if the "as" is used as in "simultaneously", in that Rin's body moved *while* she recognized the name. In the latter case, I think the comma should be yanked, but that's just me.

No matter, either way I am looking forward to seeing more of this work. I cannot honestly say that I have any real complaints... after all, MM is doing this out of love of the game. ^^

Ganbatte! ^^