KnK Chapter 3 Part 03

Remaining Sense of Pain


July nears its end and my surrounding has started to fill with events. Like a friend who has been in a coma for two years regaining conciousness, like finishing the second big job at my workplace, and like my sister whom I haven’t seen for five years coming to see me. The nineteenth summer of I, Kokutoh Mikiya, started in such a commotion.

Today is a rare off day I had, but I accompanied my high school friend to go drink and when I noticed, I have missed the last train. Others took cabs home but as my payday is tomorrow, I do not have such extra money. It can’t be helped, so I decide to walk home. Fortunately, my house is only two stations away from here. The date has just changed from July 20 to July 21.

Past midnight, I walk through the night town alone. Being a weekday tomorrow, the shopping district is fast asleep. It has rained hard tonight. The rain stopped by midnight but the asphalt still shows remains of the rain as the wet ground makes splashing sounds. It is the middle of summer and the temperature is way above 30 degrees. The hot night air and the humid air from the rain irritates me… and then I see a girl crouched on the sidewalk. A girl wearing a black school uniform is holding her stomach in pain as she is crouching on the guardrail. … I notice the church’s sister-like uniform. That plain but party dress-like fancy design is of the Asagami Lady Academy. According to Gakuto, it’s really famous to those kinds of people… as they say it’s like a maid’s costume. …It’s not that I’m one of those people, but I know because my sister goes there.

“I heard all the students there lived in dorms…”

But to see her here at this time is too strange. She must be in some kind of trouble or just a bad student that doesn’t follow the school rules. With my sister going to the same school and all, I decide to talk to her. When I call to her, she slowly turns to me and her long hair sways.


It seems the girl gasped really faintly. She has really long hair. Her eyes look calm and she too looks calm. Her face is small… it’s cute but she has some handsomeness in her features. That balance is more like Japanese beauty. Her long hair is cast straight behind her and a small piece of it is seperated around her ears to drape down to her chests. It seems the left side of her hair is cut though. The front hair is cut straight and it reminds me of a good lady from a respected family.

“Yes? What is it?”

The girl says with a pale face. Her lips are purple. It’s obvious she has cyanosis. She has one of her hands on her stomach, her face twisted in pain.

“Does your stomach hurt?”

“No, um… I, um…”

She tries to act calm yet her words are not. The girl looks rather fragile. She has the feeling that she’s going to break down any second, just like Shiki when I first met her.

“You’re a student of the Reien Academy, right? Did you miss your train? That place is far from here. Do you want me to go get a taxi for you?”

“No, it’s all right. I don’t have any money.”

“Yeah, I don’t have any too.”

The girl looks at me in surprize. … I notice that I gave a surprizingly stupid reply.

“I see. Then your house must be near here. I heard everyone there lived in a dorm but I guess you’re allowed to go out.”

“No, my house is far from here.”

I tilt my head in wonder.

“Then is it something like running away?”

“Yes, I think that is what I have to resort to.”

… I’m troubled. Looking at her, the girl is soaked. Maybe she didn’t find cover in that rain before but she is dripping wet. … Since that time, I hated girls wet with rain. That must be why these words came out of my mouth.

“You want to come to my place just for tonight?”

“Can I…?”

Still sitting down, she looks at me as if she’s desperate. I nod.

“I live alone, so there’s no problem. But I won’t make any gurantees. I don’t have any intentions but if anything weird happens, I might get in the mood. I’m a healthy man so put that into consideration too. If you’re still okay with that, then come along. Unfortunately, it’s before my payday so I don’t have anything, but I should at least have some painkillers.”

The girl becomes happy. The defenceless and the pure smile also makes me happy. When I extend my hands to her, she gracefully gets up.

… It seemed there was red stains where the girl has been sitting…

I take this unknown girl and start walking through the night town again.

“We’re going to walk a bit but tell me if you’re suffering. I should at least be able to carry a girl on my back.”

“Yes, but my wound is healed so it doesn’t hurt.”

She says so but her hand is still on her stomach. It’s obvious she’s in some kind of pain. I ask her again.

“Does your stomach hurt?”

The girl denies it and grows silent again. We walk a bit more. After a small silence, the girl shakes her head.

“… Yes. It really, really hurts. I’m about to cry… can I cry?”

When I nod, the girl closes her eyes looking satisfied. It looks as if she is watching a dream.


The girl did not tell me her name so I decide not to either. I feel that it’s more romantic that way. Once we get to the apartment, the girl says she wants to borrow the shower. She also says she wants to dry her cloth so I decide to stay outside. Giving her a cheap excuse that I’m going to go buy some smokes, I leave the room. I feel I am really good natured as I’m going out to buy something I would not smoke.

After spending about an hour outside and coming back, I find her asleep on the sofa. I set my alarm clock to seven thirty and lay on my bed. As I fall asleep, I worry about the cut in her uniform around the stomach area.


When I wake up the next morning, the girl is sitting in the living room as she has nothing to do. She gives me a bow once she notices I’m awake.

“Thank you for last night. I cannot do anything in return but I am really thankful.”

The girl gets up and starts to leave. … I feel a bit bad about making her sit and wait just to say that to me.

“Wait, at least wait and get some breakfast.”

The girl obediently follows what I say. The only thing left are pasta and olive oil so naturally, our breakfast becomes spagetti. I quickly make it for the two of us and carry it to the table to eat. Since it’s so quiet, I turn on the TV and see a terrible news.

“… Wow, this is the kind of story Tohko-san would like.”

I murmur something aloud that if she was there, she’ll be throwing something at me. … But that’s how weird the content of the news is. I listen to the newscaster who talks about what happened last night.

Last night, in the basement of a bar that has been abandoned for half a year, four dead bodies were found. It seems all four victims had their limbs torn off and the scene of the crime was a pool of blood. The place is pretty close to here, maybe around four stations away from last night’s place. It’s strange that they said the limbs were torn off rather than cut off, but the news does not go into detail about it, but rather goes into the information on the victims.

All four of the victims were high-schoolers and they were just kids that played around near that place. It seems they did some drugs too and a person who has the newscater’s mike pointed at them is talking about the victim’s personal lives.

…… I think they deserved to die, those kids.

Those words flow from the TV and I get annoyed by those words that seems to talk bad about the dead, so I turn off the TV. Looking at the girl, she is placing her hand on her stomach painfully. Seeing that she hasn’t taken a bite of food, she might be really hurt. I can’t tell her expression as she is looking down.

‘…… There’s nobody that deserves to die.”

She says so with ragged breath.

“Why… I’m healed, so why…?!”

The girl gets up from the chair and runs to the door. I quickly follow her but she raises her hand to stop me. It shows she does not want me to go near her.

“Wait. I think you should calm down.”

“It’s all right. I knew it… I cannot go back.”

Her face twists in pain. The face that bears the pain seems similar to Shiki. The girl calms down and bows at me before she opens the door.

“Good bye. I never want to see you again.”

The girl leaves just like that. Her face like a Japanese doll, only her eyes seemed like it was about to cry.

KnK Chapter 3 Part 02

Still a bit dazed, Asagami Fujino raises herself up. There is no one here, Fujino is in a room. The room’s light is off… no, there is no such thing to begin with. Only darkness surrounds her.


Letting out a breath, Fujino feels her own hair. The tuft on her left side is cut off. It’s probably from the guy with a knife who was on her a second ago. Remembering that, she finally looks around the room. This place is a bar made in a basement. It was abandoned half a year ago due to bankruptcy and became a place where bad kids hang out. …In the corner of the room is a pipe chair. …In the middle of the room is a pool table. …Food from convienience stores are scattered around, and there is a pile of trash stacked up. It seems these things are creating the disturbing odor. Fujino feels unpleasant from the sickening smell in the room. This place is a ruin… or is it some back alley of a faraway country? One cannot even imagine that a normal city exists on the other side of the stairway. The only normal thing you could say is the smell of the alcohol lamp they brought in.


She looks around in a rather well-mannered fashion. Fujino’s mind is not fully functional yet. …She still has not taken in what has been happening until now. She picks up a wrist that happens to be by her feet. There is a watch on the wrist which was torn off. The digital screen shows July 20, 1998. Time is 8PM, not even an hour after that incident.


Fujino groans from the sudden pain. A great pain is in her stomach area. She twists her body, not able to withstand the squeezing pain. The hands that touch the floor make a splashing sound. Looking, the whole room is filled with liquid.

“Yes, come to think of it, it is raining today.”

Talking to herself, Fujino stands up. She looks at her stomach. There is a trace of blood there… the place where she was stabbed by these people scattered around here.


The one who stabbed Fujino was a famous person in town. He stood out more than most of the others that dropped out of high school and was known as a leader-like person for the people who played around. He gathered people that liked the same thing as he did and did what they wanted. As part of the fun, they raped Fujino. Not much reason were there. Probably because Fujino was a student of the Reien Lady Academy and was also beautiful. As they were violent and selfish, they were not done by just once. It seems they knew they could be accused for their actions, but they changed their mind when they found out that Fujino did not tell anyone. They found out they were the ones in power and they brought Fujino into this place many times. Tonight was another one of those times and they were completely relaxed, and also getting bored of the action. The guy probably brought out the knife to bring some excitement into this repeated habit. The leader of the kids had his pride hurt since Fujino lived normally even after they have raped her. He wanted a definite proof that he was the one who ruled over her. As an extreme violence, he readied a knife, but the girl only made a cool face. He got angry at the girl whose expression didn’t change even after showing the knife, so he pushed her down and…


“I can’t walk outside like this.”

Fujino downcasts her eyes as she feels her blood-soaked self. The only blood that is from herself is the one on her stomach, but from the top of her hair to the bottom of her shoes is dirtied by someone else’s blood. It seems the blood on her cannot be easily washed off. Fujino murmurs to herself.

“How stupid of me… getting this dirty.”

And she kicks at one of the limbs scattered around the floor. Am I more angry at getting dirtied by their blood than the fact that they have violated me up to now? Fujino thinks as she is surprized by her own violentness. It’s raining outside… there should be less people walking about in about an hour. Even though it’s raining, it’s summertime so it shouldn’t be too cold. I’ll soak myself in the rain and then wash off the blood at some park. …As she reaches that solution, she suddenly calms down. She walks away from the pool of blood and finally counts the corpses scattered around. One, two, three, four… four…… four…… four, no matter how many times it’s counted!! She is astonished. …One is missing…

“One has gotten away, huh…?”

She murmurs faintly. Then I will be caught by the police. If he goes to them, I will be arrested. But… will he go to the police? How will he be able to explain the situation? Will he start from telling them about raping me, Asagami Fujino, and threatening her not to tell anyone? Not possible. Such a thing is impossible, and these people should not have the brains to come up with a convincing story. Fujino relaxes a bit and lights the lamp on the pool table. The light from the lamp lights the whole room. The 16 scattered arms and legs show up clearly. If you look for it, you should also find four bodies and heads. Lightened up by the orange light, the room is painted anew with red paint like it has gone mad. Fujino did not care much about this disastrous scene. … One has escaped. Her revenge is not completed yet… Fortunately, it has not ended.

“Would I have to take revenge…?”

Fujino fears at the idea of having to kill another person. Her body trembles, telling her such a thing is impossible to do. But she herself would be in danger if she doesn’t. But still, she does not want to do any more bad things… That is her true feeling.

… The pool of blood reflecting her face shows her mouth making a smile…

KnK Chapter 3 Part 01

When I was still small, I once cut my hand while playing house.
Borrowed things, fake things, made things…
It is because a real one was mixed in within all those cooking utensils.
While I was playing with this pretty sharp object, I have cut myself between the fingers.
When I returned to my mother with a red hand,
I remember her scolding me, then crying, and then kindly embracing me.
Mother said it must have hurt.
More than those words that I did not understand, I was more happy about the fact that mother embraced me, and I started crying with my mother.
Fujino, the pain would go away once the cut heals…
Mother said so as she wrapped bandages around me.
I do not know what those words mean…
Because not even once did I feel any pain.

3. Remaining Sense of Pain (Ever cry, never life) -Asagami Fujino-



“You brought an unusual letter of introduction.”

I’m at a laboratory at an university. An old man whose white lab coat suited him offers me a handshake with a reptile-like smile.

“Wow, supernatural powers? You’re interested in such a thing?”

“No, I just want to know what kind of a thing it is.”

“That’s what you call interest. But who cares though. To use her card as a letter… that’s just like her. She was an outstanding student of mine, so I’m concerned about her. This place is getting less people who can be used, so we don’t have enough human resource. Yup, not enough is not good.”

“Um, about the supernatural powers…”

“Oh yeah, supernatural powers… But there are many different kinds of powers. We don’t measure them genuinely here, so I don’t know if I could help you. In this occupation, this is the ominous subject, so there’s only several laboratories that study this subject in Japan. This thing is a blackbox, you know? So the real details doesn’t get to me. Yeah, I heard it’s getting practical, but I have to wonder. That thing is, you know, something you have to have since you are born…”

“I really don’t care about the classification. I think it’s PK anyways. What I want to know is how people end up with these powers.”

“It’s channels. You watch TV?”

“Well, yeah… but what about it?”

“You compare human brain to channels. Which channel do you usually watch?”

“… Let’s see, I guess it’s channel 8.”

“That’s it. That should be the channel with the highest rating, right? Let’s say there are 12 channels in a human brain. The brain of you and me are always on channel 8, the channel with the highest rating. There are other channels but we can’t go there. The channel that everyone watches… should I say common sense? Channel 8 is the channel we have as we can live within that common sense. Do you understand?”

“… Um, so you’re saying we’re made to watch the safest programs?”

“No no. That’s for the best. The common sense of the 19th century, the channel with the highest rating is channel 8. Since we can be there, that’s the most peaceful, right? We live in that common sense and we are protected by that common sense… isn’t it beautiful?”

“You’re saying other channels are not peaceful?”

“I don’t know. Let’s say channel 3 is a channel that receives the words of plants instead of people. Let’s say that on channel 4, the brain waves to make your body move actually moves something else. It’s amazing to have these kinds of channels. There, the common sense airing on channel 8 doesn’t exist. Since the most popular channel 8 shows the common sense needed to live in this current world, other channels do not show such a thing. At the very least, the morals in channel 8 is not shown.”

“So you mean not having channel 8 would make you mentally abnormal?”

“Yup. Say there’s someone that only has channel 3. That person can talk to plants, but in turn, cannot talk to people. As a result, society treats that person as mentally disabled and locks them up in a hospital. That’s what it means to have supernatural powers. It’s people who have different channels then everyone else from the time they are born. But most people with supernatural powers have such channels as 4 and 8 at the same time and can switch between them. It’s channels so you can switch between them when you want to, right? When you watch channel 4, you can’t watch channel 8. When you watch channel 8, you can’t watch channel 4. People with supernatural powers in society lives by using both of them, the usual self and the abnormal self.”

“I see. So that’s why common sense is useless for the person who only has channel 4… because they don’t have such a thing to begin with.”

“That’s right. Society calls these people as maniacs or killers but we call them “unfit existence”. There are many people unfit for society but these people are unfit right from their existence. They are people who shouldn’t exist… no, they cannot exist. If, this is a what if story, okay? If there was someone who had both channel 4 and 8 and something happened to that person to destroy its body causing that person to be permanently on channel 4, that person is done for. Even though that person knew all the common sense, if they cannot be on the same channel as us, they cannot communicate with us… because they are on a different channel.”

“Is there a way to make the unfit into a fit existence?”

“You can just stop their life. To put it more precisely, you have to destroy the abnormal channel. But to do so means to destroy their brain, so it comes down to killing them. There’s no such thing as killing the channel without killing the body. If there is, that’s what you would really call supernatural powers. That’s around channel 12, I think? That channel can pretty much do anything.”

The professor laughs like it is really funny.

“That was helpful. By the way, is the most popular power in PK bending spoons?”

“What? Spoons can bend?”

“I don’t know about spoons but at least human arms.”

“You mean arms of an adult? That’s pretty amazing. “Distortion” depends on the objects size rather than its hardness. I would think it should take about seven days to bend something like a human arm. So, which way is it? Right? Left?”

“Does that matter?”

“Of course. It has to do with the fulcrum. Even Earth has a direction of rotation, right? What, it’s not constant? Hmm… does that power actually exist? Then you shouldn’t have anything to do with this person. This person has more than two channels. That unfit existence probably can rotate things in both directions. I have never heard of a case of someone having two channels and is able to use them both at once. This is too powerful.”

“Um… I don’t have much time so I should get going. I have to get to Nagano by today… so thank you for all your help.”

“It’s all right. You can come as much as you want if it’s her introduction. Oh, and by the way… is Aozaki-kun doing well?”

KnK Chapter 3

This chapter is about a girl with a special power to twist things and the revenge she must take. Shiki and Mikiya look for the cause of strange killings in town, which lead them to the girl…

Parts 13/13 completed!!

KnK Opening

Kara no Kyoukai/Opening

July, 1998.

I safely finish my first job since I got employed at Tohko-san’s office. Well, what I do is more like a secretary thing and all I did was get all the contract approved with the help of a lawyer. I’m discontent for being treated like a beginner, but I know best myself that I deserve it after dropping out of college.

“Mikiya-kun, wasn’t today the day you go to the hospital?”

“Yes. I’ll go after work.”

“You can get out early. There’s nothing to do anyways.”

Tohko-san turns into a really nice person with her glasses on. Today is one of those lucky days and she is cleaning the handle of her lovely vehicle.

“Then I’ll be going. I should be back in about two hours.”

“Bring me back something!”

Leaving Tohko-san behind, I leave the office.

Once a week, on Saturday afternoon, I go to visit her. I go visit Ryohgi Shiki, the girl that is unable to speak since that night. I don’t know what kind of trouble she was going through or what she tried to do. I don’t even know why she tried to kill me. But her smile at the very last moment is enough for me. As Gakuto said, I am insane about Shiki from a long time ago. I can’t go back to being normal after being almost killed just once.

Shiki, who’s sleeping in the hospital room, is the same since that night. I remember that day me and Shiki were talking in the classroom in the sunset. She asked me what part of her I could believe in. I repeat my answer from back then.

… I have no basis, but I will continue to believe in you. I like you, so I want to keep on believing in you…

… What an immature answer. I said I had no basis, but I actually had one. I can declare that with confidence that she would not kill anyone, . Because Shiki knows the pain of murder. As she is the victim and the assaultant… She knows more than anyone how sad murder is.

That’s why I belive in her. Shiki, who does not get hurt. And SHIKI, who only has hurt.

… She was always so fragile, about to get hurt. You could not even let out once your true feelings…


There are three prepared pieces

A person with two bodies that floats with reliance on death.
A non-adaptable existence which takes pleasure from being in contact with death.
A person with an awakened origin who turns to its ego by running away to death.
They all intertwine with one another and waits at the spiral of conflict.

KnK Chapter 2 Part 9

A murder occured in front of my house. My memory of that night after I went to take a walk is vague. But if you connect the parts that I remember, what I must have done is obvious. SHIKI is the same way too, but I do not deal with blood too well. Just looking at it makes my mind go blank. The flowing blood of this victim was really beautiful. The stone road to my mansion, the space between the stones are like a maze and the red liquid going through that maze was filled with beauty I haven’t seen before.

But that caused the misfortune. When I noticed, someone was throwing up behind me and it was Kokutoh Mikiya. I don’t know why he was there and I did not even wonder at that time. But I think… I went back to the mansion after that, but it seems the crime was found out much later than that and nobody knows I was at the scene of the crime. Then was what I saw just a dream? There’s no way that honest classmate would not tell about the killer. But why did it have to be in front of my house?

“SHIKI, is it you?”

I ask aloud but there’s no answer. SHIKI and I are out of line. That feeling grows stronger every day. Even if I let SHIKI use my body, the one to decide is me but why is it that my memory is vague when I do so?

… Maybe, it’s just that I don’t realize it but I might be insane like everyone else of the Ryohgi bloodline. SHIKI would say “If you think you’re abnormal, that’s a fake.” For an abnormal person, everyone else seems abnormal, so they would not question themselves. At least that’s the way I was. Then that must mean I finally figured out the difference between me and the rest of the world after sixteen years. But who caused that?

“Please excuse me, Ojou-sama.”

Akitaka says so after he knocks on the door.

“What is it?”

Akitaka opens the door with my word. It’s almost bedtime, so Akitaka does not enter the room.

“It seems there’s someone checking out the mansion.”

“I heard from father that he got all the policemen out.”

Akitaka nods.

“All the police are off the property since last night. I think it is someone else tonight.”

“Do as you wish. It has nothing to do with me.”

“But it seems the one outside is your friend from your school.”

Being said that, I get up from my bed. I go to the window facing the mansion’s gate and look outside. In the bamboo woods, there is a figure that I wish would hide more cleverly. … It pisses me off.

“I can get him to go home if you wish.”

“You can leave that thing aa it is.”

I quickly make my way to the bed and lay down. Akitaka leaves after telling me goodnight. I cannot sleep even after turning off the lights and closing my eyes. There’s nothing to do so I check outside the window again. Wearing a brown coat, Mikiya is shivering in the cold. It seems he’s looking at the gate. … He might be a great man as he has a pot of coffee by his feet.

I have to reject the idea that seeing Mikiya at that place is only a dream. Since he was actually there, he’s here right now to check on me. I don’t know what his motive is, but I think he’s probably out to check who the killer is. … Anyways, I get mad and bite my nail unknowingly.

Even the day after such a thing happened, Mikiya was acting normal.

“Shiki, do you wanna eat lunch together?”

He would say that and go to the rooftop. I feel like I’m being trained using food as I always accept his offer for lunch. I have decided to ignore him, but I am curious about what he thinks of that night. I followed him up to the rooftop thinking he would question me about it, but Mikiya was like always.

“Isn’t your house too big? I can brag about seeing a servant just by going to see you.”

There’s no right for Mikaya to say that, with him using the word servant.

“Akitaka is my father’s secretary. And we call them caretakers, not servants, Kokutoh-kun.”

“I see, so you do have people like that at your place.”

… That’s the only time my house came up in the conversation. With his personality, I don’t think he knows that we know he’s out there checking on the mansion, but still, he is acting too strangely. He must have seen me covered in blood that night, so why can he still laugh like it never happened? So I bring the topic up myself.

“Kokutoh-kun, on the night of February third…”

“Don’t talk about that.”

He avoids my question just like that.

“What is it, Kokuto.”

… I can’t believe it, I’m talking like SHIKI without noticing. Mikiya is a bit startled by being called Kokuto while I am obviously still Shiki.

“Tell me, why didn’t you tell the police about me?”

“… Because I didn’t see anything.”

That’s a lie. There’s no way. Because at that time, SHIKI went towards him and…

“You just happened to be there, right? At least, that’s the only thing I saw so I decided to believe in you.”

That’s a lie. Then why would he check on the mansion?

… SHIKI went towards him and…

“Well, to be honest, it’s a bit hard on me so I’m working hard on it right now. If I can have confidence in myself, I should be able to hear you out. So let’s not talk about that for now.”

I feel like running away looking at his expression.

… SHIKI definitely tried to kill Kokutoh Mikiya…

I did not want such a thing. Mikiya said he would believe me. If I could also believe in myself, I wouldn’t feel this unknown pain either…

From that day on, I decide to ignore Mikiya completely. About two days into it, he stopped talking to me either but he did not stop coming to the mansion to check on me. Under the cold winter sky, he would stay in the bamboo woods until about three in the morning. Thanks to that, I cannot take my nightly walks. It’s been about two weeks since it started. I look outside the window wondering if he really wants to figure out the killer that bad. … He is really persistant. It’s almost three in the morning, but he just keeps staring at the gate. There’s nothing too desperate about his expression. No, he rather smiled when he left.


I get irritated. I finally understand. He isn’t out to find the killer. For him, it’s only natural to trust me, and that’s why he doesn’t suspect me. He’s there knowing from the beinning that I would not go out during the night. He’s only there to prove my innocence. That’s why he smiles happily when the night ends without anything happenning. Believing that the true killer is really innocent.

“… What a happy guy.”

Murmuring, I think. Being with Mikiya calms me down. Being with Mikiya makes me think I’m like him. Being with Mikiya makes me think I could go over to their side. But definitely, that bright side of the world is a world I should never be in. A world I cannot be in, a world without a place for me… He drags me in with his smile…

That’s why I am irritated by Mikiya, making me think all that. I have inside me a killer called SHIKI. That boy that lets me know that I am abnormal…

“I am fine by myself. But you’re getting in my way, Kokuto.”

Shiki does not want to go crazy. SHIKI does not want to be broken. Everything would have been fine if I never had the dream of living normally.

March comes and the coldness starts to go away. I look outside from my classroom. The overlooking view from here makes a person like me feel safe. A view that I cannot reach does not let me hope by definition. Mikiya comes as usual into the red-tinted classroom. SHIKI liked to talk like this. … and I also did not dislike it.

“I never thought you’d invite me. Are you going to stop ignoring me?”

“I wanted to talk because it’s impossible to continue that.”

Mikiya makes a frowned face. I continue while feeling that I am mixing in with SHIKI.

“You said I am not the killer.”

The sunset is so red that I cannot see his face.

“I’m sorry. I am a killer. Why do you let me go even after seeing that scene?”

Mikiya looks dumb-struck.

“There’s nothing to let go, because you never did such a thing.”

“Even if I say I did myself?”

Mikiya nods.

“You’re the one to tell me not to listen to you too seriously. And you definitely can’t do such a thing… ever.”

I get mad at Mikiya for saying that while he does not know anything.

“What do you mean definitely? What about me can you understand? What about me can you trust?”

My anger comes out my mouth. Mikiya makes a troubled face but smiles.

“I have no basis, but I will continue to believe in you. I like you, so I want to keep on believing in you.”

That did it. A pure power… pure words erase everything else just because it is pure. A normal word like that for him is happiness for Shiki and destruction that she could never get away from. I was just shown the world I could never be in through this happy person.

… A world where you could live with someone else must be a happy world.
… But I do not know such world.
… But I probably do not know such world.

If I get to know someone, SHIKI will kill that person because SHIKI’s reason for existence is to deny. And since my reason is to affirm, I cannot exist without denial. Since I have never been attracted to anything, I was able to stay away from this contradiction. Now that I know, the more I wish for it, the more I know this wish is hopeless. That fact really hurts and I detest it. For the first time, I deteste Mikiya from the bottom of my heart.

… Mikiya laughs like it’s nothing.
Even though I can never be there.

I cannot stand his existence. I know for sure now. Mikiya will bring me destruction…

“… You’re stupid.”

I tell him from the bottom of my heart.

“Yeah, I get told that a lot.”

The sunset is red and I exit the classroom. As I leave, I ask him without turning.

“Are you going to come again tonight?”


He sounds surprized. I guess he didn’t know I noticed his “stake-out”. Mikiya tries to lie it off but I stop him.

“Answer me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’ll go if I feel like it.”

I leave the classroom. There are gray clouds in the red sky. From the dark clouds, I think it should rain tonight.

That night. The dark clouds starts to shower rain down onto the ground. Raindrops make the night into a noisy one. Even though it’s March, the rain is still cold. Kokutoh Mikiya stares at the Ryohgi mansion, wet in the rain with the bamboo leaves. The hand holding the umbrella is turning red. Mikiya lets out a big sigh. Even Mikiya doesn’t plan on continuing this stalker-like thing. It would be great if the killer would be caught while he does this, but Mikiya has decided to quit if nothing happens for another week.

… Standing in the rain sure is tiring. The coldness and the rain hits hard as Mikiya is just getting used to all this.

“…. Sigh”

The sigh is not because of the rain but rather from how Shiki acted today. What was Mikiya able to get across to her when she thinks he didn’t trust her? At that time, Shiki seemed really fragile, so much that Mikiya thought she was crying.

The rain does not stop. The black puddles on the ground endlessly create ripples.

A big splash occurs. When Mikiya looks in the direction of the sound, a red figure is standing there. A girl in red is wet with rain. Not even holding an umbrella, the girl is drenched as if she has just came out from the ocean. The black hair is sticking to her forhead and her eyes look empty.

“… Shiki”

Mikiya quickly runs to her. How long has this girl been out in the rain? The red kimono is sticking to her body and her body is cold as ice. Mikiya hands her the umbrella and takes out a towel from his bag.

“Here, wipe yourself with this. What are you doing? Your house is right there.”

Mikiya reaches out his hand. She laughs at his defencelessness.

“…… Huh?”

It happens even before he could notice. The hand that reached out feels something hot and Mikiya instantly jumps back. Something warm flows down his arm.


On the arm?


It doesn’t move?

The pain is so sharp, it cannot be thought of as normal pain. It hurts so much that the senses starts to go numb. There’s no time for Mikiya to think. The girl in red he thought of as Shiki moves. Maybe it’s because Mikiya has seen something terrible here already, but his head was not panicking yet. Jumping back calmly, he runs off.

……. No, there was no way he could get away.

The instant Mikiya jumps back, she runs towards him. Her speed is beast-like. Mikiya hears a slicing sound from around his feet. Red liquid mixes in with the rain. Noticing that it is his own blood, Mikiya fall onto the ground face-up.


He moans hitting his back on the ground. The girl in red gets on top of Mikiya. There’s determination in her eyes. The girl places her knife on Mikiya’s throat. Mikiya just looks up at the whole thing happening to him. What’s there is darkness… and her. There’s no emotion in those black eyes. She is serious. The top of the knife touches Mikiya’s throat. Maybe because the rain is coming down on her, but the girl looks like she’s crying. But there’s no expression. The mask-like crying face is scary, and at the same time, pitiful.

“Kokuto, say something.”

Shiki says so. Shiki is saying that she’ll listen to his last words. Mikiya tells Shiki looking directly in her eye while trembling.

“I… don’t want to… die…”

It’s doesn’t seem like the word is directed at Shiki. Mikiya said so to the impeding death coming onto him, not to Shiki.

Shiki smiles.

“I want to kill you.”

It was a really kind smile.

KnK Chapter 2 Part 8


I end up not going to school the next day. It’s because I was found by a policeman while I stood at the scene of the crime absent-mindedly, and was taken into questioning.

I heard I could not say anything for a few hours. It took me about four hours before my mind returned… I guess my brain doesn’t have that good of a recovery system. Anyways, after I was questioned and released, it was too late to go to school.

By how the man was killed, it’s impossible to not have blood on your cloth. Fortunately, I did not have any blood on me and being the relative of Daisuke Nii-san, I think my questioning went rather smoothly. Daisuke Nii-san offered me a ride home so I take it.

“So you didn’t see anyone, Mikiya?”

“You’re being too persistant. I said I didn’t see anyone.”

I glare at Daisuke Nii-san and sit deep in my seat.

“I see. Damn! It would have helped if you’ve seen the killer… but I guess the killer wouldn’t have let you go alive if you saw him. I can’t let you die, so I guess it’s a good thing for me you didn’t see anyone.”

“You’re not a good policeman, Daisuke-san.”

I hate myself for being able to respond to him in a normal tone. I call myself a liar in my head. … I can’t believe myself that I can lie with such a straight face. And this is police matters we’re talking about here. If I don’t tell the truth, things can only get worse. … But still, I did not say anything about Shiki being at the scene of the crime.

“Well, I’m glad you’re not hurt. So, what’s your impression on the first dead body you saw?”

This mean person asks me such a question in this situation.

“Terrible. I don’t ever want to see it again.”

“This one is special. It’s not as bad normally so be rest assured.”

What does he want me to be assured on?

“But it’s a small world we live in. I didn’t know you knew the daughter of the Ryohgi family.”

The fact that might make him happy gets me more depressed. … The murder that happened in front of Ryohgi’s house is treated as the same killer’s work but the investigation stopped from there. Even the police left the territory of the Ryohgis after their inspection. From what he says, it’s because of the pressure from the Ryohgis. It was recorded that this murder happened in between eleven and twelve at night on February third (Sunday), and the only witness is Kokutoh Mikiya. But it’s recorded that I was there only after the crime has occured and that I was in a state of shock seeing the scene of the crime. The Ryohgi family and I have not said anything about Shiki.

“But didn’t you investigate the people of the Ryohgi?”

Daisuke-san shakes his head to my question.

“The daughter of that place goes to your high school, so I wanted to ask them about it but they refused. They said they didn’t care about what happened outside their house. But from the way I see it, they are innocent, they have nothing to do with the crime.”


I let it out without thinking. I trust Daisuke Nii-san even if it seems like I don’t. It’s even famous in the workplace that this person is not fired because of his superior skill. So that’s why I thought he might suspect Shiki.

“Why do you think so?”

“Hmm, well… do you think such a beautiful girl would kill someone? You don’t, right? I don’t think so too. This is an obvious answer for as a guy.”

… Why did he ever decide to be a policeman? No, more than that, I sigh at how much more carefree he is than me.

“I see. You’ll be single for the rest of your life.”

“Hey now, I can put you in jail.”

I’ll be released because of lack of proof. … But I agree with his opinion. Even though I don’t have the hunch like he does, it is my opinion that Shiki is not the killer. Even if she admits it herself, I believe she is not the one. So now, there is something I must do.


The crime neared it’s solution.

Then from that day until that day three years later, the killer would cease to appear. For me at that time, that incident seemed like it did not concern me. But that happened to be the first and the last incident which involved both Shiki and me.

KnK Chapter 2 Part 7


It’s the first Sunday in February. Waking up and going to the dining room, Daisuke Nii-san is there, about to leave.

“Oh, you were here?”

“Yo. I just came to sleep cause I missed the last train, but I’m gotta go to work now. I envy you students, your promise for vacation is always kept.”

He looks like he hasn’t had enough sleep. I bet he’s busy with all the new information on that serial killer.

“You were talking about coming to my school, but what happened to that?”

“It seems we’ll have to go there again. To tell you the truth, there was a sixth victim three days ago. I guess this victim struggled hard and we found the killer’s skin in her nails. Women have long nails so I guess she scratched the killer’s arm pretty bad. Maybe it was a desperate move but the scratch has to be deep. The skin we found was about 3 centimeters. (about 1 inch).”

His information is a new one not even on TV or the newspaper. But I am shocked for a different reason. … I think it’s because in the past few days, Shiki has been using the omnious word of “killing” quite a number of times. Why else would I imagine for an instant that Shiki would be this killer?

“… Scratch, you mean the killer has a wound?”

“Of course. Do you think the victim would scratch her own arm? We already figured out the skin is from around the elbow area. We have the blood diagnozed so the killer is done for now.”

Daisuke Nii-san leaves. With power escaping my legs, I crumble onto the chair. Three days ago was the day I had that conversation with SHIKI in the setting sun. I think when I saw her the next day, the bandage was around her elbow…


Right around mid-day, I figure out it’s no good just sitting here and thinking. Instead of thinking, I can just go to Shiki and ask her. If she tells me her wound is nothing related to it, this uneasiness would go away.

I decide to visit Shiki’s house using the school’s contact guide. Her house is on the outskirt of town a station away from here. When I finally find her house, the sun is already setting. The mansion with bamboo trees surrounding it is oriental-styled. I cannot tell the size of this place just by walking. I won’t be able to tell exactly how big it is unless I get in a plane and get an overhead view of this place. Walking through the bamboo woods on a path, I get to a big gate. I’m a bit relieved this old looking place has an intercom. Pushing it and saying what I came here for, a man in a black suit appears. I find out that this man around his thirties is Shiki’s servant. This person called Akitaka talks with a stranger like me with manners. Unfortunately, Shiki isn’t home. He offers me to stay and wait but I refuse. To be honest, I don’t have the guts to go into this place alone.

I decide to go home since the sun has already set. Getting to the station after an hour’s walk, I run into Senpai by chance. Being invited by him, we eat at a nearby restaurant and end up talking until ten. Unlike Senpai, I am a student so I have to start heading home soon. After saying goodbye to Senpai, I buy the ticket for the train at the station. The time is almost eleven o’clock. I wonder for a second if Shiki is home already.


“What the hell am I doing?”

I say so to myself as I walk through the nighttime residential district. It’s late at night without a sign of life. In this unfamiliar town, I don’t understand why I’m going toward Shiki’s house. Even though I know I won’t be able to see her, I at least want to see the lights in her house. I walk in the chilly winter air. I exit the residentual district and end up facing a group of trees. I walk through the small road in the middle of it. Since there’s no wind, the bamboos are silent. There’s no streetlight, so the moonlight is my only guide. When I half-jokingly think what would happen if I got attacked here, the thought starts to fill me. The image gets stronger in my head in contrast to my mind wanting to get rid of it. When I was a kid, I was scared of ghosts. The shadows in between the bamboo looked like ghosts and I would be frightened. But now, I’m scared of other people. I’m only scared of the fact that someone might be hiding in the bushes. …Since when did the unknown ghosts turn into other humans?

The more I try to calm down, the more the bad feeling seeps into me. …Really, this bad feeling does not go away. Oh yeah, I think Shiki was saying the same thing before. I think that was… While I try to recall, I see something ahead of me.


I stop dead in my tracks. It’s not my will, because at this time… my mind has just became empty.

A white figure stands few meters ahead. The white kimono that looks bright is covered with red spots. The red spots on the kimono expands. It’s because the thing in front of her is spilling red liquid everywhere. The one in the white kimono is Shiki and the thing is not a fountain, but a dead person.


I cannot say anything. But I always thought about this somewhere in my mind. This image of Shiki standing in front of a dead body. That’s why I’m not surprized or making a commotion. My mind is just completely blank. The body must have recently died… the blood would not flow out that much unless you cut its artery alive. The wound is on the neck and a cut in the body at an angle. Shiki is silently staring at the dead body. The color of the spilled blood is enough to make you faint, but its organs are spilling out from the cut and making the body look like a totally different thing. To me, it seems like something slimy is trying to have a human form, but it’s doing such a bad job that it’s hard to look at it. … If you are a normal human being, there’s no way you can. But Shiki is staring at the dead body. Blood gets on her ghost-like kimono. The spots look like red butterflies. The butterflies are flying toward Shiki’s face too. The face covered with blood is deformed. Is it because of fear or pleasure? Is she Shiki… or SHIKI?


I try to say something and I collapse onto the ground. I vomit. I vomit out everything in my stomach, stomach acid, and if I could this memory too… I vomit until I start to cry. But it’s no good. It doesn’t even make me feel better. The amount of blood is so much that the smell is overwhelming enough to seep into my brains.

Eventually, Shiki notices me. Her head turns to look at me. The expressionless face shows a smile. It’s so pure it makes me rather clam. The smile reminds me of a mother. That smile is so unfitting to this whole scene that…

It rather makes me shiver.

I start to faint as she draws closer. I remember Shiki’s words at the last moment.

… “Be careful Kokutoh-kun. A bad presentiment tends to attract bad reality.”

… I guess I was stupid indeed. Because I tried not to think about this bad reality until the moment I see it in person…

KnK Chapter 2 Part 6


The winter vacation ended in a flash. The only thing that happened was I went to the shrine on new year with Shiki. But I think I led a normal life other than that.

When the third term started, Shiki isolated herself even more. She had that rejection air around her that even I noticed.

After making sure everyone else has left and going to the classroom, SHIKI would always be there. She doesn’t do anything but just stares out the window. I haven’t been invited or called to come here. But I just can’t leave this fragile girl alone, so I keep her company meaninglessly.

The sun sets early in the wintertime and the classroom is tinted red. In this classroom filled with just the color red and black, SHIKI is leaning against the window.

“Did I tell you that I hate people?”

Today, SHIKI starts to talk mindlessly.

“That’s the first time I heard that… do you mean that?”

“Yeah, Shiki hates people. She was like that from when she was small. … You see, when you’re a child, you don’t know anything. You think the whole world would love you unconditionally. Since you like them, they must like you… that feels like common sense.”

“You’re right. You never doubt anything when you’re small. You unconditionally love them and you think it’s only natural for them to love you back. The only thing I was scared of were ghosts. Even though I’m scared of people now.”

SHIKI nods in agreement.

“But that’s a very important thing. You need to be pure, Kokuto. Since you only concern about yourself when you’re small, you won’t notice other people’s bad minds. Even if it’s just a misunderstanding, the feeling of love you receive makes you be able to be kind to others. Since people can only express the emotions they have.”

The sunset illuminates her face red. At this moment, I cannot tell if she is SHIKI or Shiki, but it has no meaning at all which she is. Either way, this is just Shiki’s monologue.

“But I’m different. I knew someone else since I was born. Since Shiki has SHIKI inside of her, she knew of others. She found out that there’s other people who think differently and that they do not love you unconditionally. Since she found out as a child how ugly other people are, she could not love them. In time. she grew to pay them no attention. The only emotion Shiki has is rejection.”

… That’s why she hates people. SHIKI says so with her eyes. … I feel like crying without reason.

“But wasn’t she lonely like that?”

“Why? Shiki has me. It’s certainly lonely by yourself but Shiki isn’t alone. She was isolated, but she wasn’t alone.”

SHIKI says so with a resolute face. There’s no bluff in it and it seems she really is satisfied with that.

But really…?

Yet really…?

“But Shiki is acting weird recently. She has an abonormality in her called me, but she wants to deny me. Denying is my domain, and Shiki is supposed to be only able to affirm.”

SHIKI laughs asking why that might be. It’s a brutal looking smile.

“Kokuto, have you ever wanted to kill someone?”

At that instance, the sun makes her face look red and made my heart jump.

“Not so far. The most I’ve ever wanted was wanting to punch someone.”

“I see. But I only have that feeling.”

Her voice echoes through the classroom.

“…… Huh?”

“I told you. Humans can only show emotions that they have experienced. I take on the forbidden taboos inside Shiki. What’s low on Shiki’s priorities is high on mine. I am content with that and I know that’s why I exist. I am the personality that takes on Shiki’s supressed intentions. That’s why I’ve always killed my will. I have been killing the dark side called SHIKI. I have killed myself over and over. See? The only thing I’ve experienced is killing things.”

Then, she walks away from the window. Why, why do I think the person walking toward me silently is scary?

“So Kokuto, the definiton of murder for Shiki is…”

A voice murmuring by my ear…

“… Is to eliminate, in self defense anything that tries to open her up.”

Smiling, SHIKI leaves the classroom. It was an innocent smile that one would give after playing a trick on you…

On lunch break the next day…

When I asked Shiki if she wanted to have lunch with me, she looked really surprized. At this time, she showed me her surprized expression for the first time since I have met her.

“What a thing…”

Saying that, Shiki accepts my request. We head to the rooftop following Shiki’s request. She is following silently behind me. Her silent stare is stabbing into my back. Maybe she’s mad at me… no, she definitely is. … Even I know what she meant by those words yesterday. It’s her last warning telling me not to be involved with her, and that she doesn’t know what she’ll do if I did. But Shiki does not understand. That’s something Shiki has always told me without words unconsciously, and I have already gotten used to it. When we get to the rooftop, no one is there. I guess being January and all, nobody else wanted to eat in this cold weather.

“It’s cold, do you want to eat somewhere else?”

“No, I want to eat here. If you want to go somewhere else, please go ahead.”

I tilt my head to Shiki’s polite tone. We sit by the wall to avoid the wind. Shiki just sits there without opening her bread. In contrast, I have already finished my second sandwich.

“Why did you talk to me?”

Shiki’s murmur is so sudden that I could not catch her words.

“Did you say something, Shiki?”

“I said, why are you so carefree?”

She says so with glaring eyes.

“That’s terrible. I’ve been called excessively honest, but I’ve never been called carefree.”

“I guess everyone was holding back.”

Convinced selfishly, Shiki opens her egg sandwich. The sound of the wrapper suited the cold rooftop. Shiki sits there silently and nibbles on her sandwich. I have nothing to do as I’m already done. I think a meal needs to be accompanied by a conversation.

“Shiki, you must be a bit mad.”

“… A bit?”

She glares at me. I scold myself in my mind for not thinking before I said something.

“I don’t understand but I get irritated when you’re there. Why you involve yourself with me, why you don’t act differently after being said all that yesterday, there’s all those things I don’t understand.”

“I don’t know the reason either. It’s fun being with you but if you ask me why it’s fun, I can’t answer. Well, if you talk about yesterday, I guess you can say I’m optimistic.”

“Kokutoh-kun, do you understand that I’m abnormal?”

I can only nod to those words. Her split personality is real and it is indeed not normal.

“Yeah, it’s indeed not normal.”

“Right. So then you should understand that I am not someone you could associate with normally.”

“Abnormal or not, it doesn’t matter when hanging out.”

Shiki stops all movement. She stops time as if she’s even forgotten how to breathe.

“But I cannot be like you.”

Saying that, Shiki slides her fingers through her hair. Her kimono sways and I notice the bandage wrapped around her thin arm. The bandage wrapped around near her right elbow is quite new.

“Shiki, that wound…”

Before I get a chance to finish, Shiki stands up.

“If you don’t understand with SHIKI’s words, I’ll tell you myself.”

Shiki talks while looking off into the distance.

“If we keep this up, I will probably end up killing you.”

… How could I have replied to those words?

After that, Shiki goes to the classroom leaving her trash behind. Being left alone, I first clean up the mess.

“… Geez, this is just like Gakuto said.”

I remember the conversation I had with Gakuto. Like Gakuto said, I might be stupid. I could not hate Shiki even after she completely rejected me. No, my mind has rather cleared up. There can only be one reason why it’s fun being with Shiki.

“I already went mad a long time ago.”

… Yeah, why didn’t I notice this earlier?

… That I love Shiki so much that I can even laugh off her telling me she wants to kill me.